Each week we post an article or paper submitted by a member or "silent participant" of Guyana Caribbean Network. The featured article runs from Monday to Sunday each week. To submit an article for feature of the week contact us at admin@guyanacaribbeannetwork.com This week's feature is brought to you by "Kyla".

The men in my life
by "Kyla"

They met during their pre-teen years and immediately she was drawn to him but he showed no signs of caring. Nevertheless, among friends, they shared a few pleasantries and laughed together and at the end of the day, they went their own separate ways. Every Saturday, when her parents would take her with them to work, she yearned and looked forward to seeing him just to say 'hi' and smile. But somewhat, he had a matter-of-fact way of dealing with her! Understandably so, they were only 12 years together and that emotion was just a careless emotion - atleast on his part.

As the years rolled along, they drifted and parted and went their own paths - he, towards Canada and she, marrying and having kids in her own country and her journey through life continued.

Little does one know how destiny would hit them in strange and untold circumstances. Sometimes, if one is lucky, a miracle happens and dreams come true or sometimes one just have to accept what life offers, set one's standards and pursue them. As her kids grew bigger and prosper, so did she - moving and climbing the ladder to greater heights - meeting the nicest people from all over the globe. It was then she met his father after more than 15 years. She immediately recognized him having known him since she was a child and took the opportunity of asking him about that one particular boy whom she never forgot - his son. He told her that he was married and doing well in another country ' "Oh no, he's married" was her silent thought and she immediately gave up and that was the end of her query/interest.

Two years later, she vacationed in Canada and having nothing to do one day, she scanned through her phone book and found his number that his father had given to her a long time ago. "Oooh, why shouldn't she call him? Afterall, there will be nothing to lose!" She took the chance and dialled his number and there, alas, he was at the other end. They talked about nothing in particular but to her, he was the most enjoyable person to talk to. He gave her that impression that he was listening to everything she said and she found that astounding. He promised to call her again before she departed for Guyana but he never did and she somewhat didn't care. Perhaps, he thought that he felt the need to be worthy of this woman but she never knew.

Another two years elapsed and she visited Canada again!! Having no communication during those intervals, she called him again and blasted him!! He apologized profusely and said that at the time, he was going through a rough divorce! This time, he invited her to dinner but she was not really interested making excuses that she was too busy having to go places, etc. but that she would call him before she return to Guyana. She never did!

She again returned two years later to Canada on another such vacation and she called again. This time, he was determined to see her having heard so much about her from his Dad who briefed him mercilessly and he became curious. He met her finally. He was impressed! She touched his life in more ways than one!! Excitement overflowed and he was smitten. They were only 12 years old when they last parted as kids. They were now 31 years.

Sleepless nights befelled him, endless transatlantic calls - he was going bankrupt but he must have her. He pursued her endlessly; he wanted her in his life because he said she was his inspiration for living. Finally, with much persuasion, she gave in but she made it known to him that once he married her, her package will not be left behind. It was not a choice for him - he wanted her and whether she came with a package or not, he will have her. She got married and migrated.

The sometimes difficult journey through life after a little more than 24 years of marriage made his hair turned grey and now, almost bald. During those years, sometimes their dreams were marred with disappointments but she never quit. She migrated to Canada with her sons upon marriage leaving her parents behind. She became pregnant but alas, it was an etopic pregnancy and the baby had to go. Disappointment reigned for both of them - she tried to hide it and continued to motivate him. She encouraged him when life became tough, they built a life together with her sons and with hard work and endurance, they sent their sons through university until they also got married.

In between those years, her father died and her mother joined them in Canada. After many years living in Canada, sickness took a toll on her and she also died. He nurtured her during those 5 years of illness, never giving up on her until the end was inevitable. He loved her as though she was his own mother - hugging her, taking her to the annual circus (which she always enjoyed) and playing indian songs for her every Sunday mornings. People, who never knew him, thought she was his mum and when she died, he cried so much because she knew him since he was a baby.

Today, it is unbelievable how much he loves his grandkids - he would give his all for them. His stepsons call him 'chubster' and they never fail to honour him - in fact, he was their father they never had - as it were.

That man happens to be Kingie - a very simplistic man yet classy in his own way, a very honest and a very caring man who never allow material things to be foremost, if at all! Our lives changed forever - a sense of completion...a time to relax with our kids, our inlaws and our grandkids. This is a man - and I have so much to be grateful for even though when I am dressed in my orange outfit and orange scarf and orange shoes, he tells me I look like a TURKEY and I tell him (confidently- lol) - sorry, you have to live with it.

For the person that I was molded into, I thank my father. He taught me to be my true independent self, and not to be trapped by dogma - living the results of other people's thinking. I was his joy and pride because he waited so long (unintentionally) to have a child. Never wanting in anything, he spoilt me notoriously and I enjoyed and ravished every moment of it during those years. He gave me a world filled with so many beautiful stars and taught me serenity and poise in a difficult world. And in a nutshell, I adored him and he was so proud of me and when his journey into this world came to an end, I was proudly there for him! It was my turn to perform the duties of a son he never had and I did it all alone enacting his teachings and standing tall and stoically at his cremation. I cried!!

And now, every year, as father's day rolls along, there is one more card that will never be bought. I miss my father more and more. This August, it would be 18 years since his passing. How the years have fleetingly gone by but life must go on and only memories are left behind but they are all good memories - a father who gave his all to his only child and the latter who never failed to show her love and gratitude. For those who still have a father, cherish him.